Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Cults

Teen cults claim many victims each year

Every year thousands of teens across the country become ensnared in the dangerous and misunderstood world of cults. These hazardous entities prey on the uncertainty and alienation that many teens feel and use those feelings to attract unsuspecting teens into their cult traps. As a figurehead in the world of parent teen relations, Sue Scheff™ knows the danger of cults and teenagers’ susceptibility to their temptations. Sue Scheff™ believes that like many other teen\ ailments, the best defense against the world of cults is through education.

No teen actually joins a cult, they join a religious movement or a political organization that reaches out to the feelings of angst or isolation that many troubled teen’s experience. Over time, this group gradually reveals its true cultish nature, and before teens know it, they are trapped in a web they can’t untangle.

With the strong rise in teen internet usage, cults have many ways to contact children and brainwash them. Sue Scheff™ knows the dark side of the internet from her experience with teenage internet addiction, and she understands it is also an avenue for cults to infiltrate teenage brains.

Cults have long been represented in the mass media. The supporters of Reverend Jim Jones People’s Temple may be some of the most famous cult members, making global headlines when they died in the hundreds after drinking Kool-Aid laced with cyanide. Almost 300 of the dead Jones supporters were teens and young children. Heavens Gate is another well known cult, which believed ritual suicide would ensure their journey behind the Hale-Bopp comet with Jesus. Heavens Gate lived in a strict communal environment, funding their cult endeavors through web site development. Some male members of the cult even castrated themselves before all 36 committed suicide, wearing matching sweat suits and Nike tennis shoes.

It is clear that despite the ridiculous and bizarre nature of many cults, parents can’t ignore the power and resourcefulness of these groups. Cult ideas may seem to loony to take seriously, but they can have real power when used against troubled teenagers, the exact type of teens that Sue Scheff™ and other parent advocates have been working to keep safe.

Cult influence should not be taken lightly, especially when living with a troubled teen. Parents may not think of cults as a problem because they don’t hear about them a lot, but that’s the key to cult success. The livelihood of teen cults relies on staying out of the public eye and in the shadows. The Heaven’s Gate and People’s Temple cults didn’t truly gain public notice until after their suicides, and by then it was too late to save their followers.

The danger of teen cults is real, but parents can help ensure their teenagers’ safety by staying informed and communicating with their children. Sue Scheff™ presents a site with important information about different types of cults that target teens, warning signs of cult attendance, and ways to help prevent your teen from becoming involved in a cult. Knowledge and communication is always the first line of defense when helping a troubled teen.

www.helpyourteens.com

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Better Discipline for ADHD Children

By ADDitude Magazine

Tired of nagging and yelling at your children? Here's an easier way to discipline children with ADHD.

Like all kids, children with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) sometimes make bad choices regarding their own behavior. No surprise there. But to make matters worse, parents often err in the way they discipline misbehavior from children with ADHD. Instead of using firm, compassionate discipline, they move into what I call the ignore-nag-yell-punish cycle.

First, the parent pretends not to notice the child’s misbehavior, hoping that it will go away on its own. Of course, this seldom works, so the parent next tries to urge the child not to do such and such. Next, the parent starts yelling and scolding. When this doesn’t produce the desired result, the parent becomes extremely angry and imposes harsh punishments. I think of this fourth stage as the parent’s temper tantrum.

This four-part strategy (if you could call it that) isn’t just ineffective. It makes life needlessly unpleasant for every member of the family.

How can you avoid it? As with any other pitfall, simply being aware of it will help you steer clear of it. At the first sign of starting on the wrong path, you can stop what you’re doing and make a conscious decision to try something else. Take an honest look at how you respond when your children misbehave. What specific situations are likely to cause you to go down this path? How far down the path do you typically proceed? How often?

Let’s examine the ignore-nag-yell-punish strategy more closely to see why it doesn’t work — and come up with some strategies that do.

Why ignoring doesn’t work
By ignoring your child’s misbehavior, you send the message that you neither condone nor support his misbehavior. At least that’s the message you hope to send.

In fact, your child may read your silence as “I won’t give you my attention or concern” or even “I reject you.” That can wound a child. On the other hand, your child may assume that your silence means that you approve of his behavior or will at least tolerate it. “Mom hasn’t said I can’t do this,” he thinks, “so it must be OK.”

Even if your child correctly interprets the message that you’re trying to send by ignoring him, he has no idea what you want him to do instead. In other words, ignoring your child doesn’t define better behavior or provide guidance about how your child should behave next time.

Instead of ignoring him when he does something you disapprove of, I recommend another “i-word”: interrupting. That is, quickly move people or objects so that your child is unable to misbehave.

For example, if Alex and Maria start quarreling over a toy, you might say, “Alex, sit over there. Maria, stand here. I’ll take this and put it up here.” Similarly, if your teen comes for supper with dirty hands, immediately take his plate off the table and silently point to his hands. If you feel the need to tell your child what you expect of him, tell him once, very clearly. Then stop talking.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Discipline Without Regret: Tips for Parents of ADHD Children

How parents can set boundaries for ADHD children without yelling, screaming, or losing your cool. The smart way to discipline.











You’ve told your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) to pick up his dirty clothes from the bedroom floor. Not a single sock has been deposited in the hamper. Did he not hear you — or did he ignore your discipline?

Annoyed, you shout and, worse, feel yourself getting angry and nearing a power struggle. Then come the threats — no TV for a week, no friends visiting for a month, and whatever else you can think of in your fury. The incident costs everyone dearly: Your child feels angry and demoralized, and you feel like anything but a loving parent. And for what? A pile of clothes in need of a washing machine.

Later that evening, during a quiet moment at the kitchen table, you think back to what happened — and what has been happening for months now. You wish you had used more effective communication and question whether you love your child any more, whether you’re a fit parent. Don’t worry: You do and you are.

You’re feeling the emotional turmoil and stinging regret every parent experiences when trying to love and discipline a child. Here are some strategies that will help you feel less like an ogre and more like a mom the next time your child needs some “enlightenment”:

Discuss why it’s wrong. Make sure your child understands how his action — or inaction — has hurt someone or goes against the grain of your expectation. Then ask him if he thinks it would be a good idea to apologize, suggesting that he would probably want the same courtesy extended to him if his feelings had been hurt.

Be reasonable when grounding. If your child or teen abuses a privilege, remove the privilege — briefly. Depriving a teen access to the cell phone for a month because she exceeded the plan’s calling minutes is overkill. She is your daughter after all, not a criminal. Withdrawing the privilege for a short time — and allowing your teen to “earn” it back by developing a credible game plan for not abusing the privilege next time — teaches the necessary lesson.

Say it a couple of ways. Different kids respond to direction in different ways. When giving your child a task—such as putting his CDs back in their cases—state it two ways. Say, “I’d like you to stop leaving your CDs all over your desk. You paid good money for them, and you want to take care of them, right?” Then state the same request in a positive way: “Please put your CDs into their cases.” Chances are, he will get the message.

Schedule pit stops. Racecar drivers periodically pull their cars into the pit — to change tires, add fuel, and talk over race strategy with the pit crew. Do the same with your child when things get tense and you feel the urge to yell. Tell her you want to have a pit stop — a private conversation in a quiet area of the home where nobody will interrupt — or, better yet, at her favorite coffee place. Scheduling pit stops cuts off an ugly exchange that you will regret later.

Figure out a better way. Turn discipline moments into learning opportunities. Remind your teen that we all make mistakes, then invite him to brainstorm better ways to deal with a similar temptation or stress in the future. Listen to his ideas and value his input. It shouldn’t just be your way or the highway.

Encourage a redo. When your child screws up, patiently reenact the situation — doing it the right way. If your child spills a glass of soda while clowning around at the table, have her wipe up the mess and pour another glass. Then ask her to place the glass in a better location on the table and be on her best behavior.

Take a moment. Count to 10 before opening your mouth; it will short-circuit a great deal of verbal nastiness.

Strengthen the bond. The best discipline combines a firm expectation of how to behave or act, along with basic respect for the worth and dignity of your child. Bedtime tuck-ins, listening to her concerns, empathizing with her feelings, and defending your child when necessary all show that you are more than a drill sergeant. You’re a loving parent.

Reaffirm your love. Always remind your child, no matter what she’s done, how much you love her. Love and leadership are the twin functions of effective parenting — so make it clear that disciplining her doesn’t diminish your affection for her.

Visit www.additudemag.com

Sue Scheff (P.U.R.E.) Making Peace with Your Defiant Child: Discipline & ODD

Discipline strategies for parents of children with oppositional defiant disorder - a common partner to ADHD.

Click here for the entire article.

ADDitude Magazine has comprehensive articles on ADD/ADHD in regards to both children and adults.

As a parent advocate (Sue Scheff) my organization - Parents' Universal Resource Experts - is about parents helping parents and bringing you valuable stories, articles and more to help you with today's kids.

Sue Scheff (P.U.R.E.) INHALANTS A Deadly Drug of Choice

Article published Apr 22, 2008
Local angle
The death of a 19-year-old South Bend man earlier this year shows that inhalant abuse can and does occur in our area.
In that case, the victim died of asphyxia caused by inhaling compressed air used to clean computer keyboards.
Police say the practice is not uncommon.

— Ed Semmler, Tribune staff writer

Inhalants a deadly drug of choice

By PATTY PENSA
South Florida Sun-Sentinel

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — Jason Emanuel was a troubled 20-year-old whose drug of choice was keyboard cleaner.

He sucked can after can of products such as Dust-Off until his lips turned blue and the euphoria set in. He came to a Delray Beach, Fla., sober house to get clean.

Instead, he was arrested for "huffing" three times over four weeks and died after his final high set off a seizure.

Jason Emanuel's case reflects the danger of household products in the hands of young people looking for an easy hit. Indeed, Emanuel chose inhalants because there is no middle man, other than a checkout clerk. Compared with other drugs, the number of people who die from inhalants is small, but there is growing concern over the No. 1 drug of middle-schoolers, who studies show see huffing as a low-risk hit.

"Jason was not a criminal," his adoptive father, Chris Emanuel, said. "He wasn't a guy that would stick up the 7-Eleven. He had a problem and eventually it defeated him."

The coroner's report, which determines cause of death, is not complete yet.

Chris Emanuel last saw his son in mid-December, about the same time the North Carolina native was first arrested in Boynton Beach, Fla. Twice police found him in his car huffing outside Wal-Mart. A third time, he was outside SuperTarget. Each time, he appeared unsteady on his feet and was incoherent, according to police reports.

Using Jason Emanuel as an example, police in January called a news conference to warn parents about huffing. They called him the "poster child" for inhalant abuse. More than 2 million kids ages 12-17 chose an inhalant to get high, according to the Alliance for Consumer Education, which operates the Web site inhalant.org.

What they huff is found at home, with more than 1,400 household products as potential hits.

"This is a tragic situation that highlights the dangers of inhalant abuse and should force every parent to have a conversation with their children about the deadly consequences," police spokeswoman Stephanie Slater said in a statement.

Inhalants affect the body like alcohol does: slurred speech, lack of coordination and dizziness. Some users experience hallucinations and delusions. More severe are the long-term effects, such as liver and kidney damage, hearing loss, limb spasms and brain damage.

Because the high lasts only a few minutes, users prolong the feeling by huffing for hours. Chemical-induced cardiac arrest can happen any time, said Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein, medical director of the Florida Poison Control covering South Florida.

Even without an autopsy, Jason Emanuel's final encounter with police on Feb. 26 reveals the role inhalants played in his death. Days before, he was kicked out of the Delray Beach halfway house where he came to get sober. For three days he lived in his car, and on the last, sheriff's deputies were called to Wal-Mart west of West Palm Beach, Fla.

Jason Emanuel told the deputies he had been huffing that afternoon, said Sheriff's Office spokeswoman Teri Barbera. Paramedics took him to the hospital and, on the way, he suffered a seizure and stopped breathing.

On average, 100 to 125 people across the United States die from inhalants annually, said Harvey Weiss, spokesman for the National Inhalant Prevention Coalition. But the numbers may be higher, he said. There is no national clearinghouse on inhalant-related deaths.

An interim report from Florida's medical examiners attributes three deaths to inhalants in 2007. In contrast, cocaine killed 398 people in the state last year. The prescription drug Oxycodone claimed 323 lives. Anti-drug advocates say inhalants are just as dangerous.

"You see kids on YouTube joking around, laughing and having fun, and the risk really isn't conveyed," said Colleen Creighton, the consumer alliance's executive director. "The frightening thing for us is how young the kids are who are using."

A government study released last month showed inhalants are the drug of choice for 12- and 13-year-olds. As they get older, many teens switch to marijuana.

Jason Emanuel was the opposite. His father said he smoked marijuana in high school but took up huffing about a year ago.

"He got off marijuana because he didn't like finding dealers," he said. "You can go to any place and find an inhalant."

Jason Emanuel grew up in an upper-middle-class neighborhood in Charlotte, N.C. The product of private schools, he was a bright kid who had big ambitions. Ultimately, he dropped out after his first semester at Appalachian State University to go into rehab.

His parents sent him to rehabilitation centers around the United States, but he veiled his troubles to his friends.

"He just didn't act like someone who was a drug addict," Elliot Engstrom, 19, a childhood friend, said.

"With my generation, people get so concerned with drugs you hear about in pop culture. That's really not the problem. It's the prescription drugs and the stuff you buy at Wal-Mart."

www.inhalant.org

Sue Scheff - Camp Finders - A Great Resource for Parents

It is the time of year that many summer programs are actually filling up!

Finding a good summer programs, such as Leadership Programs, can help your child build their self esteem to make better choices as well as motivate them to reach their highest potential.
If your child is starting to struggling in school, whether it is peer pressure or other issues, you may want to consider summer alternatives.

CAMP FINDERS is a fantastic resource for parents and a free service to help you find the perfect camp to fit your child's interest.

Visit http://www.helpyourteens.com/

Sue Scheff - Love Our Children USA - Great Website for Parents and Kids

Every year over 3 million children are victims of violence and almost 1.8million are abducted. Nearly 600,000 children live in foster care. Every day1 out of 7 kids and teens are approached online by predators.

Visit LOVE OUR CHILDREN USA

Sue Scheff: Inhalant Abuse, parents need to learn more about this subject

Inhalant Abuse is an issue many parents are not aware of, they are very in tune to substance abuse regarding drugs and alcohol, however huffing seems to be a subject that is not discussed enough.

Read about a Community Warning About Inhalant Abuse

Sue Scheff: ADDitude Magazine and Website

LIVING WELL WITH ADD AND LEARNING DIFFERENCES

Wow - what a great informational website and magazine. ADD/ADHD is widely diagnosed among many children. Learn more about ADD/ADHD and other learning differences - click here.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teenage Depression

Teen Depression Risk Factors by DepressionReport.info

There are a number of factors that put a teen at a higher risk for developing depression. Many of these risk factor are red flags for parents, friends, and loved ones to watch out for in a teenager.

These factors include:



Experiencing problems or difficulty at school.

Going through a traumatic event. Examples include parents who get divorced, abusive parents, the death of a loved one, or a break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Weight loss or weight gain.

Difficulty dealing with anger.

Developing an interest in violence or a becoming increasingly fearful of violence.

Difficulty sleeping.

Developing an interest in drugs or alcohol.


Teenage depression is the leading cause of teenage suicide. Yet, approximately 80% of teenagers thinking of suicide leave clues. Through careful observation and an understanding of the risk factors of teenage depression, many of these suicides can be prevented.


Causes of Teenage Depression

Teenage depression is largely caused by stress. During the adolescent years, a person undergoes a number of emotional, physical, and mental changes. First of all, hormones start raging and bring with them a plethora of confusing emotions. In addition, teenagers often feel a great deal of pressure from their parents and from teachers to do well in school and to participate in athletics. Furthermore, peer pressure and an overwhelming desire to do whatever it takes to fit in with their peers causes teenagers a great deal of stress.

The stress teenagers feel can result in anger, nervousness, and an inability to concentrate. It can also lead to physical symptoms such as nausea and headaches. Ultimately, the stress can cause social withdraw and depression.


Preventing Teenage Depression

Thankfully, there are several steps a parent can take to prevent teenage depression from setting in on their child.

The first is to always utilize positive disciplinary techniques. Desirable behaviors should be reinforced through praise and recognition rather than utilizing punishment and shame techniques. Punishment and shaming only serves to leave the teenager feeling worthless and inadequate.

At the same time, parents must be careful not to overprotect or to overdirect their teenagers. Children and young adults need to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes.

Protecting your teen from experiencing mistakes, or continually telling your child what to do rather than letting him or her make independent decisions, will ultimately make them feel as if you have know faith in his or her ability to make decisions.

It is also important to never push your teen to participate in certain activities because you want him or her to reach your unachieved goals. Your child needs to find his or her own sense of identity and worth.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Book Reviews for Parents

Everyday I speak with parents that are struggling with today’s teens and pre-teens.

Sometimes parents recommend books that have helped them and I felt it was time to start sharing these helpful books. Parent’s Universal Resource Experts is about parents helping parents.

Visit Sue Scheff Book Reviews and Recommended Books

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) - School Dropouts Start Early

By Connect with Kids

“Time is of the essence for children that are falling behind, because every day they fall behind, their peers are moving ahead and so it’s like chasing a moving target.”

– Jill Isbell Rhodes of Reading Recovery, Long Beach Unified School District

Before this school year ends, 1 million kids will have dropped out of high school. Conventional wisdom has it that dropping out is an angry and impulsive decision for many kids. But a new study suggests that there is a way to predict who will drop out -- just visit your local kindergarten.

Last year, 7-year-old Derrick was beginning to hate books.

“When he did read, he’d get frustrated and he didn’t want to read,” says Derrick’s mother.

How did he feel?

“Sad,” says Derrick.

Even at this early age, it is a race against time.

“Time is of the essence for children that are falling behind, because every day they fall behind, their peers are moving ahead and so it’s like chasing a moving target,” says Jill Isbell Rhodes of Reading Recovery, Long Beach Unified School District.

Many kids never catch up. A study in the journal, Education Research, reports that you can predict with accuracy who will drop out in high school by looking at how well kids perform in kindergarten.

“If you start school with a negative experience, that’s an experience that’s going to last for the rest of their educational career,” says Danny Darby, education specialist.

The research suggests that dropping out is not an impulsive decision, but an outcome set in motion years earlier.

“The idea here is that as these problems go on and on, and as they are overlooked, children’s personality organization -- their character formation -- begins to be settled, begins to be more entrenched. And the longer you wait, the more that’s the way they become, the harder it is to make change, and the costs are much, much higher,” says Dr. Nathaniel Donson, M.D., child psychiatrist

Experts say early intervention is crucial.

“If you identify it and address it now -- at the preschool level -- it does not exist at the middle school or at the high school level. It won’t exist anymore. But you have to intervene early, and you have to address it as early as possible,” says Robert J. Aloia, superintendent, Bergen Country Technical Schools.

Derrick is now in a special reading program. He says he didn’t used to “feel” like a reader

“But now I do,” says Derrick.

Tips for Parents
Five intervention strategies that have been used to prevent school dropouts among a high-risk population (National Center on Secondary Education and Transition):
Persistence, Continuity and Consistency -- used concurrently to show students that there was someone who was not going to give up on them or allow them to be distracted from school; someone who knew the student and was available to them throughout the school year, the summer, and into the next school year; and providing a common message about the need to stay in school.
Monitoring — the occurrence of risk behaviors (e.g., skipped classes, tardiness, absenteeism, behavioral referrals, suspensions, poor academic performance) was consistently tracked, as were the effects of interventions in response to risk behaviors.
Relationships — a caring relationship between an adult connected to the school and the student was established.
Affiliation — a sense of belonging to school was encouraged through participation in school-related activities.
Problem-Solving Skills — skills students need for solving a variety of problems were taught and supported so students were able to survive in challenging school, home and community environments.
References
National Center on Secondary Education and Transition

Sue Scheff: Breakfast Reduces Obesity with Kids

By Connect with Kids


“The kids get all their stuff ready at nighttime, including clothes and packing backpacks and all that, because if we don’t, in the morning there’s no way that we could have time for them to eat breakfast, ever.”

– Yvonne, mother

It’s an old adage: breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And yet, an estimated 25 percent of children regularly skip it. Now, there is new research showing that eating at the beginning of the day saves calories the rest of the day.

“Do you have everything you need for school?” asks Yvonne, mother.

In lots of families, mornings are chaotic. Share the bathroom, get the kids dressed, pack up the book bag -- which often leaves no time for breakfast. But not at the Gonzalez home.

“You just want one egg each, or you want two?” asks Yvonne.

“It gets you up and running, and has lots of nutrition in it,” says Victoria, 9.

“The kids get all their stuff ready at nighttime, including clothes and packing backpacks and all that, because if we don’t, in the morning there’s no way that we could have time for them to eat breakfast, ever,” says Yvonne.

Researchers at the University of Minnesota studied more than 2,000 teens for five years. They found that teens who eat breakfast on a regular basis weigh less and eat a healthier diet than kids who don’t eat breakfast. Experts say skipping that first meal makes you hungrier later in the day.

“And when we finally eat, we are ravenous and we are craving. And now we want a quick fix. And we want sugar and we want carbs and we want fat, and that’s what we eat,” says Dr. Ranveig Elvebakk, bariatric physician.

And that, says the doctor, forces the body to produce more insulin.

“This insulin brings the blood sugar into the cell, and what does the cell say? It says ‘I cannot possibly deal with all this sugar; I need to transform it and store it somewhere.’ Then you slowly plump up,” says Elvebakk.

One solution, experts say, is not skipping breakfast, and instead, having something substantial such as eggs or toast or cereal.

“You ate it all? Oh my goodness!” says Mom

Tips for Parents

Children who eat breakfast tend to have more adequate nutrient intake than children who do not.

By eating breakfast, students also get more of the important nutrients, vitamins and minerals such as calcium, dietary fiber, folate and protein. (Food Research and Action Center)

A higher percentage of children who skip breakfast do not meet two-thirds of the Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) for vitamins A, E, D, and B. (Food Research and Action Center)

Adolescents who eat breakfast tend to have a lower body mass index (BMI). Higher BMIs can indicate overweight and obesity. Girls who eat breakfast are more likely to have a lower BMI than girls who skip breakfast. (Food Research and Action Center)
Adolescents with one or two obese parents who eat breakfast every day are more likely to have BMIs within a healthy range than those who tend to skip breakfast. (Food Research and Action Center)

Try to serve a balanced breakfast that includes some carbohydrates, protein and fiber. Good sources of these nutrients include: (Nemours Foundation)
Carbohydrates: whole-grain cereals, brown rice, whole-grain breads and muffins, fruits, vegetables

Protein: low-fat or nonfat dairy products, lean meats, eggs, nuts (including nut butters), seeds, and cooked dried beans

Fiber: whole-grain breads, waffles, and cereals; brown rice, bran, and other grains; fruits, vegetables, beans, and nuts

References
Food Research and Action Center
Nemours Foundation